So here it is ladies and gentlemen, another mildly entertaining post, from yours truly.

I recently finished my adventures through post secondary education, University if you will. Over the course of my education I learned a plethora of useless information, and a couple things that are likely to stick with me forever.  But lets start with the useless stuff first, it’s more fun anyways.
For example: the meniscus, and I’m not talking about your knees here.

I learned that, in order to pass certain classes, you need to:

a. show up,
b. buy their text book (which is, of course, written by the prof),
c. read 6 of 647 pages,
d. and finally, hand in one report detailing why that book was a bigger waste of money than paying for the class, which may have actually cost you brain cells, as well as roughly $75,345,899,834.

I have essentially spent the last 67 years in a school of some kind, and by 67 I mean 20.  I have learned a variety of wonderful things, 99.57% of which I will never use again, nor could I recall if I had to.  That being said, I can tell you all about the meniscus. No, not the piece of cartilage in your knee that everyone seems to tear.  I’m referring to that little bubble of liquid that forms at the top of your glass.  The very same one that forms when I have poured as much wine as humanly possible into it, before over flowing into your lap, or onto your brand new white shirt. Thank you 8th grade science, I’ll never forget you.

Here’s a short list of things I have never found a use for:

1. Raising my hand (Sorry Mrs. Jones)
2. Coloring inside the lines (Miss Mcewan – you tried, but those lines could never hold my colors)
3. Binomials (Miss Baltitude – this has yet to help me calculate my way out of any situation)
4. Trinomials (Again, not helping)
5. The Quadratic Equation (refer to points three and four)
6. Long Division (One word: Calculator)
7. The fur trade (I’m still not sure what happened here)

There’s plenty of room for more, feel free to add.

Now here’s a book that’s bound to get a child through school:

As for the important things, stay tuned while I try to figure those out.

Okay, so I know most of you out there reading this already know me.  But for those of you who don’t: I’m a 24 year old male, who is a few weeks away from (potentially) completing his never ending post secondary adventure.  I have been single for the majority of my life, and entirety of my adulthood.  So why, in the world of permanently single people, is Instagram showing me ads like this: 

Tinder bots. First off, thanks for being interested in my day, but its Friday, not Tuesday. I understand we’re all trying to make a living out here, but the least you could do is customize your opening messages to make a guy feel special.  Don’t even get me started on the punctuation issues here. Where are the capital letters? Have you ever heard of an apostrophe?! I’m sure you’re a wonderful Physical Therapist, with a budding career, and a glowing personality, but I think I’m going to pass on your tempting offer to sign up for “www.whoresnap.com”.

And finally, to conclude my Friday afternoon rant: Those of you who are complaining about being woken up by a text, or phone call, at 2 in the morning, they created SILENT for a reason, use it.

Yours truly,

Someone planning to call you at 2am. Repeatedly. Possibility inebriated. Or for his own general amusement.