If a study hasn’t been conducted yet, it should be.

In this week’s volume of “The Tinder Diaries” we address just how shallow and short sighted our generation is.

I can almost guarantee that the duration of time we spend talking to someone on Tinder, Bumble, Hapn, pick your poison, (they’re all a variation of the same thing), is measured purely by how physically attracted we are from the start.  And, that’s IF we even bother to start a conversation.  90% of the time we accumulate “matches”, show our friends the new “Babe”, “Stud”, or “Rocket” that we’ve just fallen in love with and, 37 seconds later, forget they ever existed and continue swiping, be it left, right, or otherwise. Why are we so shy and afraid of starting a conversation with a person who we’ve essentially already told they’re hot?

Below is a blatant, failed, attempt, at achieving the 21st century idea of dating, aka the Tinder/Bumble dream.  You know, the one where you meet a stranger, have 39 seconds of the worlds most disappointing sex, and then forget they ever existed?

Exhibit  A: Genius of the day.  Just as you thought he might turn out to be a proper gentlemen, he goes for it. Throws the long ball, Hail Mary, and follows up with everyone’s favorite move: The Double Text.  The move that comes after minutes of long debate, and ends with you feeling slightly pathetic on the inside.Here’s what probably happened.

You matched. Came up with a witty opener, maybe something like the oh-so-classic:

“How much does a polar bear weigh?”

or perhaps you wanted to show off your literary skills and go a step further:

“Hey you’re super cute
I’m bad at breaking the ice
So here’s a haiku”

Then went on to talk for another 10 minutes.  Told yourself, and the person you’re talking to that, “I’m here to meet a great person, and I’d really like to get to know you better….do you have Snapchat?”.  Right, because Snapchat is the foremost leader in getting to know a person. I’m sure you can see their beaming personality through that half-naked shot he just sent you of his abs, or that snap of her left arm covering her naked chest.

For a generation that is so highly interconnected, due to the 973,345 different forms of communication and technology that we have available to us, we sure are bad at communicating.  My personal favorite, when you meet someone through one of these 768 dating apps, or services, have a full-blown conversation for the following week, and then see them on the street and walk directly past them like you’re complete strangers.  Whether you want to admit it or not, over the course of that week-long conversation, you two creeped the absolute SHIT out of each other.  Either you were compulsively checking their profile pictures, to make sure they are just as hot as you thought they were, or their Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat, just to confirm that, yes, your initial judgement of their aesthetics was in fact correct. Congratulations, give yourself a round of applause, and a pat on the back.  Or, y’know, do the unthinkable, avoid the awkward, half ass’d eye contact/half wave /I’m just brushing my hand through my hair/waving at the person behind you/ stretching, and say hi.

Okay, we get it, you think I’m hot, I think you’re hot. Next.